My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude as I sit here typing this. In fact, gratitude is not even the word. Words fail me at this point if I were to try and describe the feeling after having this experience, and every other experience, where I've been able to go and see this beautifully created world that we live in. I'm feeling particularly nostalgic this week as my timehop is reminding me of all the super cool events that took place in years past. This time last year I was in the amazingly beautiful country of Haiti making new friendships that I can't imagine my life without now. FIVE years ago (no lo puedo creer que ya pasó 5 años) I was in Paraguay, and well, I definitely don't have the words to describe how hilariously awesome that weekend was. And now, as I get the chance to go back and read the many stories I've posted in this blog, I'm grinning from ear to ear at each experience and smiling because life is just good.
It's been a dream of mine to visit Cuba ever since I can remember. It's always been this place of curiosity for me and a place out of reach for as long as I've known it. But all of that changed in January. I still remember walking through the lobby in my office at work and seeing the news on tv when new travel and trade regulations were enacted that would open the door for even more travel to Cuba. I remember the exact moment I saw the Cuba trip posted on the AIM website. Actually, I remember the moment I saw the trip listed before it was even a trip! And that exact moment I saw it, I put myself on the interest list and told myself I was going. Naturally, when the email came telling me the trip was happening I waited all of 10 seconds before signing up. I am incredibly humbled that I am one of the lucky few who have been able to visit this stunning country.
Well Cuba totally rocked my world.
Cuba is amazing. I would love to describe the feeling of just being there, but I just can't. For many different reasons Cuba is certainly a special place. Just being there and knowing the history of the country and its history with the United States is a really cool feeling. Knowing that for so many years Cuba was this place 90 miles away, but in reality a universe apart, it's crazy that I got to be there ironically on the very same week that we got to hang the American flag once again at the U.S. embassy. As we passed by the embassy in Havana (see below), it was surreal to just soak in the moment and all of the history connected with it.
Havana is crazy unique and super cool. It almost looks like a scene from a movie. The CARS, gosh the cars are so cool!! All of the Che Guevara influence (shout out to my querida Argentina) and Cuban revolution signs - I never knew just how historic of a place Havana is. Cuban flags are EVERYWHERE. I love that. Not to mention, it's also right on the coast, and we spent a good portion of our passing through driving right alongside the water. It seems like half of the buildings look as though they could fall over any minute. At times it felt as though time had stood still and Havana was still stuck in year 1975. I almost felt like I was in a time capsule. It had a seriously cool vibe. See below!
Outside of traveling to and from Havana we spent our entire stay in the city of Trinidad which is located on the southern coast of Cuba. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the outstanding group of local Cubans that we were able to work alongside during our stay. We partnered with a local church in Trinidad and were able to help them in their surrounding community as well as during their church services. I was overwhelmed by their generosity as they not only had a team of people show us around and transport us everywhere we went, but we also had really awesome translators and a whole team of people cooking and providing every meal for our team of 14. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know every one of them, and their hospitality was second to none. It amazes me that those who have the least in reality always seem to have the most. Funny how that works. The more time I spend in all of these other countries, and without my cell phone, this realization really hits home.
During our first full day in Trinidad we got to be a part of the VBS for all of the kids. Spending time with tons of children at one time just gives me so much joy - always! It is always the perfect reminder to a) maintain perspective, b) enjoy the simple things in life and c) laugh and laugh a lot. I'll never forget the little boy, probably 3 or 4 years old, sitting next to me as we were learning about how God created the world. This little boy was rattling off answers that I couldn't even remember, and I was just amazed at not only his knowledge, but the enthusiasm and passion erupting from his tiny little body every time they asked for an answer.
Also during our first day I met a 13-year-old boy named Javi, and over the course of the week I got to spend a good amount of time with him. He's a really special kid, and I think getting to know him was one of my favorites part of this trip. I'll never forget when we first met. I must've asked him his name 5 times because I couldn't understand him. De veras, Cuban Spanish is another world at times, but that's besides the point. Javi has one of the most gentle and kind souls I've ever met. During our bus ride returning from the beach (which I will speak more of below), I got to sit with Javi and help him practice his English! He carried with him an English/Spanish translation dictionary, and as he flipped through the pages and picked out his favorite words I was just enjoying the moment of having our two drastically different worlds collide.
After several discussions with Javi, and after just seeing and observing everything during this week, I couldn't help but do a lot of reflecting on what it must be like to live in Cuba. In reality, what is it like to live in a communist country? Well, though I can't attest to that, I can share some of my observations from the week.
Opportunity - opportunity was a big one for me. The thought of having to get the government's approval to open your own business just blows my mind. Actually, I'm not even 100% positive you can open a business and truly call it your own. After seeing only a small part of this country I was amazed at exactly how much opportunity there is, especially for the tourism market, and yet truthfully communism just limits it. I see how creative the people are. I see the colorful buildings everywhere. I see the naturally beautiful beaches. I see the ability to maintain the upkeep on cars from the 50's without the resources readily available. I tasted the delicious food. I witnessed how friendly the people are. This place is crawling with vibrant life.
Rationing - also a big one for me. Since returning, I've been doing a lot of reading on this subject, and I'm consistently amazed at what I am finding. I just recently found this article that I think very accurately tells the story. Check it out here. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to face this struggle just for food. I pray for the day of true freedom - freedom from the embargo, freedom of movement by both Cubans and Americans, and freedom from communism. Mostly I pray for freedom of the people, that they may one day experience the joy of freely chasing their dreams in their beautiful country.
Beauty - the biggest one for me. Gosh Cuba is so beautiful. We got to go exploring the town of Trinidad during our stay, and I loved every second of it. I thought Valparaíso, Chile was colorful. This place takes colorful to the next level. Again, the cars are so very cool. The cobblestone streets, the bands playing music outside, people passing by with a horse and wagon, the vibe is so unique from any place I've ever experienced. If I took one thing from every place that I visited and combined it into one, that's what Cuba seemed like to me. The quiet moments I spent on our terrace every morning just watching life happen there, I'll always cherish those peaceful moments. I honestly had no idea what to expect of Cuba before going, but it was everything and more. I had no idea that the country would be so green! I looked in one direction and could see these beautiful green mountains. I looked in the other direction and could see the ocean. And then life was happening everywhere in between. I think I could talk all day long about how cool of a country I think Cuba is, but for now I'll let the photos do the talking. Special shout out to my team members for capturing many of the below amazing photos!
One afternoon we all piled into the bus and drove to one of the nearby beaches. This was a really awesome experience not just because we got to visit a Cuban beach, but also because we got to do baptisms on the beach! This afternoon was one of my very favorite parts of this trip. Several members of the church we were working with and from the surrounding community were joining us on this adventure to the beach. To have had the privilege of baptizing these beautiful people was a really special opportunity that I am so incredibly grateful for. One of our team members also asked me to baptize her as well. Alex, my friend, it touched my heart to be able to share this with you!
Before this day, I had never been part of a baptism, much less been the one doing it. Initially, literally every single thought of doubt was running through my head -- What do I say? Will I have the right words? Am I qualified to do this? Shouldn't a pastor be doing this? Again, back to the whole words thing - what do I say? What do I pray? Can we skip the words and just dunk 'em? (joking, of course...) Oh and hold the phone, we're doing this in the ocean... Kath can't swim (wish I was joking)....... It took a couple of seconds to pull in the reigns, and when I finally did my hesitation, my skepticism, my fear, my doubt, completely evaporated. That's the beautiful thing about grace; On the day I called, you answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. When you first start doing what you are called to do, often you can fear being misperceived by others. Exhibit A = me. But what qualifies you to do ministry or anything else in life isn't your talents or skills, it's Jesus. No matter what road or what platform you find yourself on Jesus will meet you there, every time. A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains. Your glory goes beyond all things.
One of the most special memories I have from our time in Cuba is from the one day we had the opportunity to do home visits. We set out in the morning for this place...
I stepped off of the bus and my heart just fell in love with my surroundings - the village, the people, the sunshine, everything. This place was unlike any other place I've come to know. I had no idea what was about to happen, but I already felt God starting to pull on my heart strings. And then we stepped into this house and it happened. I met María. Immediately, at first sight, I was drawn to her. It was almost as if I didn't even see any other person in the house - I went straight to her, knelt down, and held her hand. She reached out her other hand, and the bond that had so quickly formed between us can only be described as that of a special bond between grandmother and granddaughter. I looked in María's eyes and at that moment I just started to cry. I looked at María and was brought straight back to my vivid memories of my Mommom. María was, for lack of a better term, my Cuban grandmother from another mother - all 80 or 90 pounds of her. She looked as though she hadn't eaten in months or years for that matter. Physically she was wasting away. Mentally she was battling, every now and then showing signs of our alertness and conscientiousness, but still highly medicated to ease the pain. She was a beautiful yet worn child of God. In this indescribable moment I felt my Mommom there with me. I saw her when I looked into María's eyes. María was holding my hand the way Mommom used to hold my hand which brought an inexpressible rush of emotions. The heartache of missing my Mommom for the past three and a half years came full-circle as I could feel Mommom holding my hand through María. Her physical condition brought me right back to having to watch Mommom not eat a solid meal for ten years. The group of us - me, Alex, and Moriah, started to pray for the family, and I just knelt there next to María still partially mesmerized at what was occurring in my heart. Alex prompted me to pray for María, and I did, but quite frankly the words just would not come out of me like I wanted them to.
In some wild and unexplainable way God used this moment to break me and heal me all at the same time. He showed me that it's okay to stop missing Mommom, although I don't think that will ever be possible. Because with Him, there are no goodbyes. No hay despedidas. Only see-you-laters. And one day He is going to crack the sky. He's going to bottle up every tear that we've ever cried, bring truth to every lie, justice for every crime, and all our shame will be gone, and we'll never have to hide. I'm so grateful to have met María. It might seem silly, but through the simplicity of just holding her hand I was reminded of this truth - truth that eternal life awaits, and I can't even imagine what it will be like. A simple hand squeeze was my reminder that Mommom is at her forever home and that I don't need to continue to carry the burden of missing her because she's with Jesus. Nothing greater than that my friends.
For those of you that never met Mommom you can read about her here. She will forever have a special place in my heart. She was the absolute best. Mommom, I wait expectantly on the day that I can hold your hand again. Love you more than words can say.
One of the cool things about all of these places that I’ve visited through all of these missions trips has been the opportunity not only to hear others share their stories, but to also share some of my own stories. This trip was no exception. I remember when I went to Haiti, the thought of getting up in front of not just the church congregation, but my own team, absolutely terrified me and I chose to just take a seat in the crowd and listen. Slowly by little I’ve become much more comfortable not only talking in front of crowds of people, but talking about God, how He is faithful, how He is merciful, how He is the rock, the foundation, the all-powerful, the creator, how He is all of the above and everything in between. You might remember reading back in June how I gave my testimony for the first time in Guatemala....unintentionally in front of an entire village. That was a bit of whirlwind, but it totally sparked something in me. Not only did I speak in Cuba in front of the church, but I was volunteering to share...twice actually. Who am I? I don't do that...haha. It's crazy to sit back and think of the progression from Haiti to Cuba in my own willingness to talk about God.
Well originally, I had only planned to speak on one occasion. It was a Saturday night and I was all ready to go. Unlike the first time, I had it all planned out what I was going to say, which verses I would incorporate, etc. etc. The church service started and can I just say, I have never ever felt so much energy in a place before. It was seriously electric. The energy of these people praising God - I wish I could bring that energy with me to every place I set foot. I don't even have the words to describe it. The pastor started reading Romans 8. The Bible is filled with powerful and influential truth from cover to cover, and for me one of the most impactful parts is the end of Romans chapter 8 - that neither life nor death nor anything else in all of creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ. So there I was, soaking in this moment, praying for God to prepare me to take the "stage" once again, and there it was: REROUTE. This overwhelming "you're not giving your testimony tonight" voice in my head -- God telling me that we're changing direction. What do you mean we're CHANGING DIRECTION? But, but...I'm all prepared this time! I started to laugh, because what else could I do at that very moment! So there I was starting to frantically flip through my Bible to find the verses I needed to talk about...in 5 minutes. Thankfully, my AH-HA moment didn't take too long as I flipped the page and found what I was looking for in Romans 10. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news! If there's one thing in the world that I can talk about without any hesitation or fear of what to possibly say, it's Africa.
So there I found myself standing in front of a group of strangers that became friends by the end of the week, desperately wanting to inspire them to seek more. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Oh, Africa things flowed out of me so easily and joyfully. It was a super cool moment for me. It was cool not just because I got to talk ALL about Africa, but because in this moment God was showing me what happens when I trust in Him. Why do I ever doubt? Time and time again He is faithful.
On a separate occasion I did actually end up sharing part of my testimony with everyone. This was also another special moment for me as an overwhelming appreciation for everything me and my family have gone through was at the forefront of my mind. I seriously just need to sit here and give glory to God. I am totally loving this current season He is walking me through, preparing me through, and loving me through. I am excitedly awaiting the future and so thoroughly enjoying this present moment. I was talking on the phone with a friend the other day when I realized that I've gone on 4 (count 'em, four) missions trips within the span of the year. That's crazy. I must be crazy haha. At first I thought I was missing a year in between, thinking there's no way it's only a been a year! But it has been only a year - Haiti, Niger, Guatemala, Cuba - each experience so incredible and special. And then I think back to Mozambique where I think the seed was first planted. What a journey it's been. Thankful.
One of my very favorite songs comes to mind....
Praise belongs to you. What can I do but sing? The greatest joy I’ve found, is to lay a crown before my king. I’ve come to worship. I’ve come to lift up your name. For you deserve this life laid down like the one that you gave. I have but one voice, one heart, and one sacrifice. So would you take this life laid down and be glorified.
Lastly, to this team -- y'all rock. You are all an inspiration, each in such unique ways. It makes my heart smile. I had so much fun getting to you know all of you, and I don't think I will ever eat frijoles again and NOT laugh. Thank you to each of you for sharing a part of your story. It has been a huge encouragement to me as I begin to move forward into the unknown. I hope the rest of you reading this don't mind while I take time to just brag on a couple of these peeps for a second.....
Steve - you da bomb dot com! Brother you just make me laugh! I SO enjoyed hanging with you in Cuba, practicing Spanish (jugo de mango!), and soaking in all of your wisdom. And since returning, you have been so encouraging to me and the path I am currently walking, so thank you (gracias!!)! I'm extremely grateful for you and your friendship (and your sweet spotify playlist)! Queata - I think I could listen to you talk all day long! I just love hearing what you have to say on any given topic. You have this incredible way of sharing perspective, wisdom, and love all at once. I'm super excited for you and Steve as you begin this new journey together in the weeks to come! Kalie - Kaliebug! I think you and your life are so cool. Like, the coolest! I'mma come find you one day in Georgia - that's a promise! I'm so happy you came on this trip and we got to spend time together. Sorry I don't have any country music! Special shout out to Alex. Girl - your wisdom and spiritual maturity at your age just amazes me. I'm so thankful that we got to spend time together in Miami (read: eat CHIPOTLE and be too cool for the summer). The sky is the limit for you my friend, and my prayer is that you continue to walk closely with God and that He continue to make known to you new possibilities and mercies every day. Always remember that you are not defined by your past, your circumstances, or your decisions, but rather by your maker! Thank you for taking the lead during our home visits (because you totally rocked it!), and an even bigger thank you for not judging my obsession with reggaeton. Te espero en NJ!! Special thank you to Moriah, my wonderful roommate, for not only putting up with me for the week, but also for making me laugh every step of the way. Literally, I feel like the only time we weren't laughing was when we were sleeping...and you and I both know we didn't do a whole lot of sleeping! One of the greatest joys in life for me is the gift of laughter, and our nonstop laughter throughout the week was the best vacation remedy I could have asked for. You have a heart of gold, and I'm really excited to follow along with your journey in this exciting new chapter. Your joy and smile are contagious! Spread it! I can't tell you how cool it was for me to able to share the Haiti experience with you too! And last but not least, a big thank you to our leader Gabe. BRO. You are the man. I just have so much respect for you. I love how you encourage others to take risks to glorify God, and I love that no matter the situation you rely on the truth of scripture and encourage others to do the same. What you said to me that one night during our group session was probably one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You really touched my heart. You've got such a big heart for the Lord, and I'm really glad that I got to share experiences in both Guatemala and Cuba with you. I've enjoyed following your journey, albeit for a short time so far, and seeing updates about your ministry in Guatemala. GUAT'S UP. Who knows, perhaps we'll get to climb another volcano together, minus the monsoon, in the future :-)
Jesus tells his disciples, the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. It was such a pleasure to spend time will all of you, and I just want to encourage you to keep shining your light brightly wherever you go! Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Now on a serious note - this photo......Love y'all!
Simply put, Cuba stole my heart, and I can't wait to go back one day. And out of all of the countries that I've had the pleasure of visiting (23 and counting, can you believe that!), it puts a huge smile on my face to say that Cuba is my absolute very favorite. So advanced warning, don't be shocked if I end up there again within the year ;-)
Glory to God for this amazing country, His amazing people, and this amazing experience. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL.
Besote! No veo la hora a contarles sobre la próxima!! C'est très intéressante!
Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. Yahweh!
PS - Shout out to the #1 fan, el jefe, BILL S.
It's been a dream of mine to visit Cuba ever since I can remember. It's always been this place of curiosity for me and a place out of reach for as long as I've known it. But all of that changed in January. I still remember walking through the lobby in my office at work and seeing the news on tv when new travel and trade regulations were enacted that would open the door for even more travel to Cuba. I remember the exact moment I saw the Cuba trip posted on the AIM website. Actually, I remember the moment I saw the trip listed before it was even a trip! And that exact moment I saw it, I put myself on the interest list and told myself I was going. Naturally, when the email came telling me the trip was happening I waited all of 10 seconds before signing up. I am incredibly humbled that I am one of the lucky few who have been able to visit this stunning country.
Well Cuba totally rocked my world.
Cuba is amazing. I would love to describe the feeling of just being there, but I just can't. For many different reasons Cuba is certainly a special place. Just being there and knowing the history of the country and its history with the United States is a really cool feeling. Knowing that for so many years Cuba was this place 90 miles away, but in reality a universe apart, it's crazy that I got to be there ironically on the very same week that we got to hang the American flag once again at the U.S. embassy. As we passed by the embassy in Havana (see below), it was surreal to just soak in the moment and all of the history connected with it.
Havana is crazy unique and super cool. It almost looks like a scene from a movie. The CARS, gosh the cars are so cool!! All of the Che Guevara influence (shout out to my querida Argentina) and Cuban revolution signs - I never knew just how historic of a place Havana is. Cuban flags are EVERYWHERE. I love that. Not to mention, it's also right on the coast, and we spent a good portion of our passing through driving right alongside the water. It seems like half of the buildings look as though they could fall over any minute. At times it felt as though time had stood still and Havana was still stuck in year 1975. I almost felt like I was in a time capsule. It had a seriously cool vibe. See below!
Outside of traveling to and from Havana we spent our entire stay in the city of Trinidad which is located on the southern coast of Cuba. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the outstanding group of local Cubans that we were able to work alongside during our stay. We partnered with a local church in Trinidad and were able to help them in their surrounding community as well as during their church services. I was overwhelmed by their generosity as they not only had a team of people show us around and transport us everywhere we went, but we also had really awesome translators and a whole team of people cooking and providing every meal for our team of 14. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know every one of them, and their hospitality was second to none. It amazes me that those who have the least in reality always seem to have the most. Funny how that works. The more time I spend in all of these other countries, and without my cell phone, this realization really hits home.
During our first full day in Trinidad we got to be a part of the VBS for all of the kids. Spending time with tons of children at one time just gives me so much joy - always! It is always the perfect reminder to a) maintain perspective, b) enjoy the simple things in life and c) laugh and laugh a lot. I'll never forget the little boy, probably 3 or 4 years old, sitting next to me as we were learning about how God created the world. This little boy was rattling off answers that I couldn't even remember, and I was just amazed at not only his knowledge, but the enthusiasm and passion erupting from his tiny little body every time they asked for an answer.
Also during our first day I met a 13-year-old boy named Javi, and over the course of the week I got to spend a good amount of time with him. He's a really special kid, and I think getting to know him was one of my favorites part of this trip. I'll never forget when we first met. I must've asked him his name 5 times because I couldn't understand him. De veras, Cuban Spanish is another world at times, but that's besides the point. Javi has one of the most gentle and kind souls I've ever met. During our bus ride returning from the beach (which I will speak more of below), I got to sit with Javi and help him practice his English! He carried with him an English/Spanish translation dictionary, and as he flipped through the pages and picked out his favorite words I was just enjoying the moment of having our two drastically different worlds collide.
After several discussions with Javi, and after just seeing and observing everything during this week, I couldn't help but do a lot of reflecting on what it must be like to live in Cuba. In reality, what is it like to live in a communist country? Well, though I can't attest to that, I can share some of my observations from the week.
Opportunity - opportunity was a big one for me. The thought of having to get the government's approval to open your own business just blows my mind. Actually, I'm not even 100% positive you can open a business and truly call it your own. After seeing only a small part of this country I was amazed at exactly how much opportunity there is, especially for the tourism market, and yet truthfully communism just limits it. I see how creative the people are. I see the colorful buildings everywhere. I see the naturally beautiful beaches. I see the ability to maintain the upkeep on cars from the 50's without the resources readily available. I tasted the delicious food. I witnessed how friendly the people are. This place is crawling with vibrant life.
Rationing - also a big one for me. Since returning, I've been doing a lot of reading on this subject, and I'm consistently amazed at what I am finding. I just recently found this article that I think very accurately tells the story. Check it out here. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to face this struggle just for food. I pray for the day of true freedom - freedom from the embargo, freedom of movement by both Cubans and Americans, and freedom from communism. Mostly I pray for freedom of the people, that they may one day experience the joy of freely chasing their dreams in their beautiful country.
Beauty - the biggest one for me. Gosh Cuba is so beautiful. We got to go exploring the town of Trinidad during our stay, and I loved every second of it. I thought Valparaíso, Chile was colorful. This place takes colorful to the next level. Again, the cars are so very cool. The cobblestone streets, the bands playing music outside, people passing by with a horse and wagon, the vibe is so unique from any place I've ever experienced. If I took one thing from every place that I visited and combined it into one, that's what Cuba seemed like to me. The quiet moments I spent on our terrace every morning just watching life happen there, I'll always cherish those peaceful moments. I honestly had no idea what to expect of Cuba before going, but it was everything and more. I had no idea that the country would be so green! I looked in one direction and could see these beautiful green mountains. I looked in the other direction and could see the ocean. And then life was happening everywhere in between. I think I could talk all day long about how cool of a country I think Cuba is, but for now I'll let the photos do the talking. Special shout out to my team members for capturing many of the below amazing photos!
One afternoon we all piled into the bus and drove to one of the nearby beaches. This was a really awesome experience not just because we got to visit a Cuban beach, but also because we got to do baptisms on the beach! This afternoon was one of my very favorite parts of this trip. Several members of the church we were working with and from the surrounding community were joining us on this adventure to the beach. To have had the privilege of baptizing these beautiful people was a really special opportunity that I am so incredibly grateful for. One of our team members also asked me to baptize her as well. Alex, my friend, it touched my heart to be able to share this with you!
Before this day, I had never been part of a baptism, much less been the one doing it. Initially, literally every single thought of doubt was running through my head -- What do I say? Will I have the right words? Am I qualified to do this? Shouldn't a pastor be doing this? Again, back to the whole words thing - what do I say? What do I pray? Can we skip the words and just dunk 'em? (joking, of course...) Oh and hold the phone, we're doing this in the ocean... Kath can't swim (wish I was joking)....... It took a couple of seconds to pull in the reigns, and when I finally did my hesitation, my skepticism, my fear, my doubt, completely evaporated. That's the beautiful thing about grace; On the day I called, you answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. When you first start doing what you are called to do, often you can fear being misperceived by others. Exhibit A = me. But what qualifies you to do ministry or anything else in life isn't your talents or skills, it's Jesus. No matter what road or what platform you find yourself on Jesus will meet you there, every time. A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains. Your glory goes beyond all things.
One of the most special memories I have from our time in Cuba is from the one day we had the opportunity to do home visits. We set out in the morning for this place...
I stepped off of the bus and my heart just fell in love with my surroundings - the village, the people, the sunshine, everything. This place was unlike any other place I've come to know. I had no idea what was about to happen, but I already felt God starting to pull on my heart strings. And then we stepped into this house and it happened. I met María. Immediately, at first sight, I was drawn to her. It was almost as if I didn't even see any other person in the house - I went straight to her, knelt down, and held her hand. She reached out her other hand, and the bond that had so quickly formed between us can only be described as that of a special bond between grandmother and granddaughter. I looked in María's eyes and at that moment I just started to cry. I looked at María and was brought straight back to my vivid memories of my Mommom. María was, for lack of a better term, my Cuban grandmother from another mother - all 80 or 90 pounds of her. She looked as though she hadn't eaten in months or years for that matter. Physically she was wasting away. Mentally she was battling, every now and then showing signs of our alertness and conscientiousness, but still highly medicated to ease the pain. She was a beautiful yet worn child of God. In this indescribable moment I felt my Mommom there with me. I saw her when I looked into María's eyes. María was holding my hand the way Mommom used to hold my hand which brought an inexpressible rush of emotions. The heartache of missing my Mommom for the past three and a half years came full-circle as I could feel Mommom holding my hand through María. Her physical condition brought me right back to having to watch Mommom not eat a solid meal for ten years. The group of us - me, Alex, and Moriah, started to pray for the family, and I just knelt there next to María still partially mesmerized at what was occurring in my heart. Alex prompted me to pray for María, and I did, but quite frankly the words just would not come out of me like I wanted them to.
In some wild and unexplainable way God used this moment to break me and heal me all at the same time. He showed me that it's okay to stop missing Mommom, although I don't think that will ever be possible. Because with Him, there are no goodbyes. No hay despedidas. Only see-you-laters. And one day He is going to crack the sky. He's going to bottle up every tear that we've ever cried, bring truth to every lie, justice for every crime, and all our shame will be gone, and we'll never have to hide. I'm so grateful to have met María. It might seem silly, but through the simplicity of just holding her hand I was reminded of this truth - truth that eternal life awaits, and I can't even imagine what it will be like. A simple hand squeeze was my reminder that Mommom is at her forever home and that I don't need to continue to carry the burden of missing her because she's with Jesus. Nothing greater than that my friends.
For those of you that never met Mommom you can read about her here. She will forever have a special place in my heart. She was the absolute best. Mommom, I wait expectantly on the day that I can hold your hand again. Love you more than words can say.
One of the cool things about all of these places that I’ve visited through all of these missions trips has been the opportunity not only to hear others share their stories, but to also share some of my own stories. This trip was no exception. I remember when I went to Haiti, the thought of getting up in front of not just the church congregation, but my own team, absolutely terrified me and I chose to just take a seat in the crowd and listen. Slowly by little I’ve become much more comfortable not only talking in front of crowds of people, but talking about God, how He is faithful, how He is merciful, how He is the rock, the foundation, the all-powerful, the creator, how He is all of the above and everything in between. You might remember reading back in June how I gave my testimony for the first time in Guatemala....unintentionally in front of an entire village. That was a bit of whirlwind, but it totally sparked something in me. Not only did I speak in Cuba in front of the church, but I was volunteering to share...twice actually. Who am I? I don't do that...haha. It's crazy to sit back and think of the progression from Haiti to Cuba in my own willingness to talk about God.
Well originally, I had only planned to speak on one occasion. It was a Saturday night and I was all ready to go. Unlike the first time, I had it all planned out what I was going to say, which verses I would incorporate, etc. etc. The church service started and can I just say, I have never ever felt so much energy in a place before. It was seriously electric. The energy of these people praising God - I wish I could bring that energy with me to every place I set foot. I don't even have the words to describe it. The pastor started reading Romans 8. The Bible is filled with powerful and influential truth from cover to cover, and for me one of the most impactful parts is the end of Romans chapter 8 - that neither life nor death nor anything else in all of creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ. So there I was, soaking in this moment, praying for God to prepare me to take the "stage" once again, and there it was: REROUTE. This overwhelming "you're not giving your testimony tonight" voice in my head -- God telling me that we're changing direction. What do you mean we're CHANGING DIRECTION? But, but...I'm all prepared this time! I started to laugh, because what else could I do at that very moment! So there I was starting to frantically flip through my Bible to find the verses I needed to talk about...in 5 minutes. Thankfully, my AH-HA moment didn't take too long as I flipped the page and found what I was looking for in Romans 10. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news! If there's one thing in the world that I can talk about without any hesitation or fear of what to possibly say, it's Africa.
So there I found myself standing in front of a group of strangers that became friends by the end of the week, desperately wanting to inspire them to seek more. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Oh, Africa things flowed out of me so easily and joyfully. It was a super cool moment for me. It was cool not just because I got to talk ALL about Africa, but because in this moment God was showing me what happens when I trust in Him. Why do I ever doubt? Time and time again He is faithful.
On a separate occasion I did actually end up sharing part of my testimony with everyone. This was also another special moment for me as an overwhelming appreciation for everything me and my family have gone through was at the forefront of my mind. I seriously just need to sit here and give glory to God. I am totally loving this current season He is walking me through, preparing me through, and loving me through. I am excitedly awaiting the future and so thoroughly enjoying this present moment. I was talking on the phone with a friend the other day when I realized that I've gone on 4 (count 'em, four) missions trips within the span of the year. That's crazy. I must be crazy haha. At first I thought I was missing a year in between, thinking there's no way it's only a been a year! But it has been only a year - Haiti, Niger, Guatemala, Cuba - each experience so incredible and special. And then I think back to Mozambique where I think the seed was first planted. What a journey it's been. Thankful.
One of my very favorite songs comes to mind....
Praise belongs to you. What can I do but sing? The greatest joy I’ve found, is to lay a crown before my king. I’ve come to worship. I’ve come to lift up your name. For you deserve this life laid down like the one that you gave. I have but one voice, one heart, and one sacrifice. So would you take this life laid down and be glorified.
Lastly, to this team -- y'all rock. You are all an inspiration, each in such unique ways. It makes my heart smile. I had so much fun getting to you know all of you, and I don't think I will ever eat frijoles again and NOT laugh. Thank you to each of you for sharing a part of your story. It has been a huge encouragement to me as I begin to move forward into the unknown. I hope the rest of you reading this don't mind while I take time to just brag on a couple of these peeps for a second.....
Steve - you da bomb dot com! Brother you just make me laugh! I SO enjoyed hanging with you in Cuba, practicing Spanish (jugo de mango!), and soaking in all of your wisdom. And since returning, you have been so encouraging to me and the path I am currently walking, so thank you (gracias!!)! I'm extremely grateful for you and your friendship (and your sweet spotify playlist)! Queata - I think I could listen to you talk all day long! I just love hearing what you have to say on any given topic. You have this incredible way of sharing perspective, wisdom, and love all at once. I'm super excited for you and Steve as you begin this new journey together in the weeks to come! Kalie - Kaliebug! I think you and your life are so cool. Like, the coolest! I'mma come find you one day in Georgia - that's a promise! I'm so happy you came on this trip and we got to spend time together. Sorry I don't have any country music! Special shout out to Alex. Girl - your wisdom and spiritual maturity at your age just amazes me. I'm so thankful that we got to spend time together in Miami (read: eat CHIPOTLE and be too cool for the summer). The sky is the limit for you my friend, and my prayer is that you continue to walk closely with God and that He continue to make known to you new possibilities and mercies every day. Always remember that you are not defined by your past, your circumstances, or your decisions, but rather by your maker! Thank you for taking the lead during our home visits (because you totally rocked it!), and an even bigger thank you for not judging my obsession with reggaeton. Te espero en NJ!! Special thank you to Moriah, my wonderful roommate, for not only putting up with me for the week, but also for making me laugh every step of the way. Literally, I feel like the only time we weren't laughing was when we were sleeping...and you and I both know we didn't do a whole lot of sleeping! One of the greatest joys in life for me is the gift of laughter, and our nonstop laughter throughout the week was the best vacation remedy I could have asked for. You have a heart of gold, and I'm really excited to follow along with your journey in this exciting new chapter. Your joy and smile are contagious! Spread it! I can't tell you how cool it was for me to able to share the Haiti experience with you too! And last but not least, a big thank you to our leader Gabe. BRO. You are the man. I just have so much respect for you. I love how you encourage others to take risks to glorify God, and I love that no matter the situation you rely on the truth of scripture and encourage others to do the same. What you said to me that one night during our group session was probably one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You really touched my heart. You've got such a big heart for the Lord, and I'm really glad that I got to share experiences in both Guatemala and Cuba with you. I've enjoyed following your journey, albeit for a short time so far, and seeing updates about your ministry in Guatemala. GUAT'S UP. Who knows, perhaps we'll get to climb another volcano together, minus the monsoon, in the future :-)
Jesus tells his disciples, the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. It was such a pleasure to spend time will all of you, and I just want to encourage you to keep shining your light brightly wherever you go! Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Now on a serious note - this photo......Love y'all!
Simply put, Cuba stole my heart, and I can't wait to go back one day. And out of all of the countries that I've had the pleasure of visiting (23 and counting, can you believe that!), it puts a huge smile on my face to say that Cuba is my absolute very favorite. So advanced warning, don't be shocked if I end up there again within the year ;-)
Glory to God for this amazing country, His amazing people, and this amazing experience. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL.
Besote! No veo la hora a contarles sobre la próxima!! C'est très intéressante!
Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. Yahweh!
PS - Shout out to the #1 fan, el jefe, BILL S.
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